Domestic violence effects everyone in the family, including the smallest victim, children.  According to statistics, roughly 3 million children witness domestic violence each year.  Violence in the home causes the child to live in fear, often leaving them feeling powerless. Many times the child may want to help by intervening but they realize that they are too small, and are not as strong as the abuser. Sometimes children do get in the middle, sometimes they may be in the way of a heated argument that gets physical, and when this happens it causes them also to be abused, pushing them into the child welfare system.  Children are like little recorders taking in everything they hear and see. If they are not impacted by the violence physically, they are certainly impacted emotionally and psychologically.  Children try so hard not to tell the violence that is going on in their homes, trying so hard to keep the family secret.  However, what goes in must come out, so children who witness violence may exhibit some type of behavioral manifestation; such as, acting out, being a bully, depression, anxiety, or failing in school, etc. Often times if the child does not receive professional help they carry these problems into adulthood, causing some of them too to become abusers or victims of domestic violence. However, many children do not like having the experiences of domestice violence, so when they become adults, they try hard not to make the same mistakes as their parents. However, escaping the impact of domestic violence will be difficult, and its impact will show-up in some way or form.

If you know that a child is in a home where there is domestic violence, the best thing you can do is to give them love and understanding, and refer them to a professional.  Usually the best referral is to their school guidance counselor.  This will allow the child the opportunity to open up and release their feelings of fear, and may also be the first step for getting the family help.

Infants and toddler who witness DV show signs of:

• increase risk of irritability
• sleep disturbance
• delayed potty training
• speech and language delays
• nightmares
• clingy to the primary caregiver
• low self-esteem

Teenagers who witness DV show signs of:

• difficulty establishing trust
• low self esteem
• become victims of dating violence
• become abusers in dating relationships
• high school drop-outs
• juvenile delinquents